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Every couple fights sometimes-but how you fight (or avoid fighting) reveals a lot about your

relationship dynamics. Understanding your fight style is the first step toward change.

Here are four common couple patterns I commonly see in therapy:

Adversarial Couples

– Arguments feel like battles. Both partners fight to win, often using blame or criticism. The bond becomes a tug-of-war instead of a team effort.

Pursuer-Distancer Couples

– One partner pushes for closeness, conversations, and connection. The other pulls away,   or criticised. The more one pursues, the more the other retreats.

Dominant-Submissive Couples

– One partner calls the shots, consciously or not. The other goes along to avoid conflict but may build hidden resentment. Over time, equality and true intimacy suffer.

Conflict-Avoiding/Triangulating Couples

– Both partners avoid direct conflict, keeping the peace at all costs. Emotions stay buried until they leak out sideways-often through venting to friends or involving third parties (like family members) instead of talking to each other.

Any sound familiar to you?

These patterns don’t mean your relationship is doomed-they’re simply habits you’ve fallen into. The good news? Patterns can change. With awareness, practice, and sometimes professional support, couples can learn new ways of relating that foster respect, connection, and understanding.

If you’re curious about your dynamic-or ready to transform it-get in touch. I’d love to help you and your partner create a healthier way forward.

Have you ever wondered why some couples weather storms together, while others crumble under stress? A big part of the answer lies in attachment styles-the emotional blueprint we carry from childhood into adult relationships.

Here’s a quick look at four common styles:

Secure Attachment

– You feel comfortable with closeness and trust your partner. Conflict doesn’t threaten the

relationship, and you can share feelings openly.

Anxious Attachment

– You crave closeness but worry your partner might pull away. You may feel insecure, need constant reassurance, and fear abandonment.

Avoidant Attachment

– You value independence and can feel smothered by too much closeness. In conflict, you might withdraw or shut down to protect yourself.

Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganised) Attachment

– You want intimacy but also fear it. Relationships feel unpredictable, swinging between seeking closeness and pushing your partner away.

Why does this matter for you?

Attachment styles shape how you connect, handle conflict, and repair after arguments. In therapy, understanding these patterns helps couples move from blaming each other to recognising old wounds driving reactions.

The good news? Attachment styles aren’t fixed. Couples can learn new ways to feel secure,

connected, and understood.

If you’re curious about your attachment style-or struggling to feel safe and close in your

relationship-get in touch. Together, we can help you build stronger, healthier bonds.